Michele Bachmann Wished Elvis a Happy Birthday on the Day He Died

At a rally in Spartanburg, SC (my hometown) Michele Bachmann made her speech at the local favorite The Beacon restaurant. I had friends that went to ask her tough questions, and she didn't take any questions from one single person. Most of what she said was rambling about Obama or praising about Jesus (seriously) all the time. Bachmann is an Elvis fan, and as so she wished him a happy birthday in front of the whole crowd. Turns out this was the day he died, not his birthday. Close enough? Sorry Bachmann but you're still stupid.

Georgia Man Stole "Massage Device" from Westgate Mall in Spartanburg, SC

I always love stories like this. Most malls usually have a Spencer's gifts. I still have a hard time believing they actually sell toys for adults in a store any child can walk in, but whatever. So this guy Dusty Cody Perdue apparently didn't want to pay for the $33.98 massager and put the device in his pocket after breaking open the package. So needless to say, the store clerk confronted him, and now he's famous. Seriously why steal something like that? If you're too embarrassed to buy one, there's always online shopping.